Education and practice of clear communication are at the heart of my clinical work. Being able to track feelings and learn how to articulate needs in a respectful way can drastically change interactions and relationships. Exploration of boundaries is also an important part of understanding what and how to communicate. I also support clients in reflecting on communication habits, when they were learned, and how that effects their current life circumstances.
HIGH CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Many people are having fights with loved ones that use hurtful language, include yelling, and sometimes escalate to a scary place. Sometimes these fights even get physical. Clients seeking help in this area want more emotional closeness with their loved ones and find that they way they do conflict gets in the way of that. Whether I am working with an individual to reduce these behaviors or a couple wanting to stop the dynamic, I create a safe space to explore what is happening without shame or judgement. Out of embarrassment, people sometimes don’t reach out, and these behaviors persist. I work to with clients to effectively utilize anger management tools, adopt mindfulness coping strategies, understand the origins of the behaviors, and communicate their needs and wants in healthy ways.
Mindfulness is essentially self attention without trying to change anything. Life is full of difficulty and loss; mindfulness is a muscle that allows us to be able to respond to external stimuli rather that just react. I utilize mindfulness strategies in therapy to slow down and notice information other than thoughts, like what is happening emotionally, sensorily, and physically. I also model non-judgement and encourage my clients to utilize this type of curiosity when exploring themselves. Lastly, I teach mindfulness to slow down reactivity, so clients have more options in handing difficult situations.
When trying to make a change, it's important to explore why a person does behavior, thinks the thoughts, and struggles with the change in the first place. Often, these things happen automatically. Everything has an origin story, and looking at this place with curiosity and compassion allows us to view the struggle in a larger context. I liken figuring out the psyche to a roadmap, tracing what’s come before to choose what comes next. I offer deep listening skills to clients, as well as map-making and humor as we develop insight into changes sought, and motivation to do something different.